y'all, i'm so tired i can barely see straight. it's been such a long week. how can i work any more stuff into my schedule? for most of the morning, i thought it was thursday. you can imagine my disappointment when i learned the truth.
today i got yelled at in broken english by a lady who didn't like what i had to say. she kept saying the system was not fair. actually, it is fair, in so far as what she cannot do, no one can do.
how often, though, does it feel like the system is broken, that life isn't fair? i feel that way a lot. i see people accomplishing things in their 20s that i might not accomplish until my 30s, 40s, or even not at all.
in the end, though, i think life is totally fair. at least, it's not unfair to people in the upper castes, unless you count the fact that some people have access to pleasures and privileges that many others don't. it's unfair, but it's skewed in my favor.
how lucky am i, when i get so bogged down by all the crap i have to do, that i have all these invitations from friends? how lucky am i that i live in a lovely city, even when i'm caught in the rain or the train isn't moving fast enough? how lucky am i that i feel infinite possibilities, that i've had the opportunity to learn who i am and what i want, even if it feels like i found my path a little late?
the woman who was yelling in broken english was right; the system is not fair to her. in many ways, the system actively works against her as a woman of color, an asian woman. in many other ways, though, the system is much more skewed in her favor as an asian woman in the u.s. she is availing herself of opportunities, even if i can't help her circumvent the system to get what she wants in this case.
this is a rambling entry, an attempt to be more diligent about writing here.
EDIT: um, it's a rambling entry complete with a wonky, stilted, abrupt ending. hm. good job, lady. way to be diligent about writing here...and keeping the tradition of blog laryngitis alive. :)
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